These are the words, the words I say

The words you’ll hear from me today,

That If given the chance, I could’ve been more

But Now It’s time to go… Live no more.


I’ve thought about this from time to time

To finally have the courage to end my life

To finally stand tall, around my neck I tie-

This scarf on the ceiling that to end my cries


That is to end my days and end my nights

That is to end this pain I feel inside

That is cut no more spill this blood of mine

That is to be free… and more than just… fine.


These are the words, the words I say

The words I say on my very last day

Today I choose this bath to lay-

My head, hold my breath

Until I may, feel the peace I’ve been yearning from my early days

From my Heart I cried, from my knees I knelt

And my voice I used for my prayers to belt

And finally… In these waves I melt…

To finally let go- except my breath I held


These are the words, the words I say

The words I hope you remember about this day

The day that I stared deep at my reflection

And deep was the insertion of the bullet through the section..

Between my brows, beneath my forehead

You’d hear the sound, I have no doubt

The Splat against the wall will take forever to clean

But give a few years you’ll forget all about me


And those were the words, the words I had spoken…

When I jumped off that ledge and every bit of me was broken

I made today’s news, my 15 seconds of fame

But it’s to represent my experience… 19 years of pain.


Benedicte Mabika

{I’m thinking of adding another stanza for suicide by overdose? What do you think?}


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