The Pessimist: This Thing You Call Love

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I hate to be pessimistic,

but I see no realistic conception of this thing you call ‘love’

You idiots yearn and crave,

you beg and fight until you’re dead inside

for this thing you call ‘love’.

Let me not lie…

There was a time that I wanted it too

but experiences retaught me what I already knew …

That this thing you call love is way to good to be true.

To have someone to love and hold you,

to see you and feel you, the real you-

they know you like you do,

like someone is supposed to

To have someone there for no reason,

to cherish and please them and know them

and know that you have them right there for no reason

To have someone strange but yet so wonderful,

they’ll call you theirs and they’re your own –

no questions no doubts –

Well it doesn’t exist.

No matter how much we insist.

It’s fairytale, it’s childish, it’s Disney

It’s immature, it’s young, it’s confusing

because if it was possible then where. is. my. own?

I don’t want it anyway.

I’d rather everything remain this way because…

Well…

I also heard that this thing you call love is detrimental in its natural state,

it can wear every part of you away

Apparently you’re left vulnerable

…then when you’re actually left, you’re left all alone and for what?

Cause you cry and moan that there is noone there to call your own?

Personally I could never let a person really see,

what this thing you call love requires and needs to build, grow, consume and feed..

Then eat away at your insides, fill your mind, take your soul and your happiness…

Don’t get me wrong..

I really  don’t mean to be pessimistic

but I am scared, inexperienced and cautious.

To take a risk so big, it’s enormous.

Potentially harming…The mere thought of it makes me nauseous

I don’t mean to be pessimistic.

I’m just a girl with a heart, who’d like to keep it.

I don’t mean to be pessimistic

but this thing you call love is not even realistic.

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Benedicte Mabika.

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