I try to plant love but never takes root

I want to scream but for some reason I remain mute

I am lost, nowhere to call my own, to take shelter-

No roof over my head but there are walls built around my heart

For protection, for strength, for peace and pride

Cause I don’t want it to be broken but the lonelier I get, the more I die inside

Lord send me an angel, one to mend, mold and heal

One to love, protect. To help me feel… something, anything

For I’m afraid I’ve gone numb,

immune from the contamination of catching feelings and showing emotion

For the guys I come across want to play, flirt and Lotion-

Girls left, right and centre. I’d rather be alone than to settle for less…

…than I deserve because I deserve more. Of course I do, because I am pure

In mind, spirit, body and heart.

So I refuse to accept hurt just so I don’t feel alone

Just so I feel accepted, liked and unjudged

Because what’s the point if you’re not happy?

To always pretend whilst every night you feel empty

And I refuse to reduce my worth for acceptance.

I refuse to do this pointless dance, there’s ins there’s outs and nothing lasts

Everyone is ‘joking’ and everything is ‘bants’

I refuse to fit in, I’d rather stand out!

In my own space and in my own time

In my own words, my own beliefs, my own mind, my own life.

Benedicte Mabika.

{Can I have some ideas on what to call this poem? Thank you guys x}


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